PATTY O'CONNOR (60s) is a recent widow who knows her own mind and will tell anyone who'll listen exactly what she thinks. Her friends and family call her cheap; she calls herself frugal. They say she's anything but subtle; she says she doesn't play games. The resident queen of the cul-de-sac, Patty gets a rude awakening when ROSE (60s) moves in next door and threatens her reign.

ROSE POPOVANOVICH (60s) has been married five times, to Patty's one. Flirty, glamorous, and dependent upon the kindness of men for her survival, Rose is Patty's arch enemy from the past. Back in their twenties, Rose slept with Patty's fiance, got herself knocked up, and eloped with the man-prize, leaving Patty holding the bridal bouquet. So for Patty, payback time has arrived at last...

STERLING (60s) is Patty's longtime neighbor and friend, and a hunky grandpa, to boot. When Rose sets her sites on Sterling, Patty decides he's pretty darn cute, after all, and the war is on. Whoever wins the man wins the war, so it's no holds barred. Meantime, Sterling is dazed and confused - to be a girl-toy on Social Security is more than he can handle.

CANDY (20s) is Patty's granddaughter, a real sweetie, and a born drama queen. So when she and RUTH (20s) decide to join forces and teach their grannies a lesson, Candy plays her part like a pro. But Candy's got troubles of her own. A baby's on the way, and Candy's boyfriend has gone AWOL, so Patty's determined to find Candy a husband - even though Candy says that she does not need a man to make her happy.

RUTH (20s) is Rose's granddaughter, a real wallflower, and a plain Jane. But when she joins forces with Candy, Ruth does such a great job of acting, that she convinces Sterling's son LANCE (30s) that he's the only man in the world for her. Trouble is, Ruth's not looking for a husband; she's looking for a law career. After all, a woman does not need a man to make her happy.

LANCE (30s) is Sterling's son and the newest arrival in town. A transplant from Texas, Lance is rich and looking for a wife - the perfect man prize for the grannies to foist their granddaughters on. And foist, they do, to Lance's delight. But Lance also has troubles of his own, his wild child DOLLY (4) - cute as a button, but ornerier than a pack of mules.

DOLLY (4) is Lance's daughter, but she could also be Shirley Temple's twin sister - the evil one. If Lance doesn't find a new mama for his "darlin' little girl" soon, then he’d better get a whip and a chair.